Common Questions

You’ll find answers below to many frequently asked questions organized into categories. Expand and collapse each category by clicking on the symbols.

Introducing the Other Party to Mediation
- I want to try mediation, but I’m not sure about the other party. Can you help?
- Yes. One party will often identify mediation as a preferred route to resolution while the other remains unsure or unaware of mediation. In such situations, you can proceed in several ways: You may want to tell the other party about mediation yourself by pointing them to our site at www.cidresolution.com. You may want us to invite the other party to mediation via telephone, mail, or e-mail. Or you may prefer to schedule a free in-person consultation for you both to discuss mediation in your particular case.
Inside Mediation
- I don’t like confrontation. What can I expect in mediation?
- Mediation is non-confrontational. Quite different from either the fight (confront-
  ational) or flight (avoidant) reactions to conflict, mediation is oriented instead towards settlement without ascribing blame on any party. That said, we don’t believe in banishing emotion from the mediation process. Indeed, we believe that emotions are authentic expressions of how individuals experience a dispute. Our skilled mediators can reflect and redirect emotions to help parties reach a settlement.
- What happens in a mediation session?
- Our mediation sessions are friendly and results oriented. The mediator guides the conversation, identifying and reframing issues using a proven process that is constructive and collaborative. In essence, you'll attack the problem, not each other. You can learn more about how our mediators work with conflict by visiting causes of conflict.
- How long is each session?
- The parties largely determine the length of each mediation session. For example, sometimes parties will meet for just one hour. Other sessions may extend as long as three hours. Sessions are typically two to three hours, and parties may schedule a follow-on session if necessary.
- Who else can attend a mediation session?
- If both parties agree, attorneys may attend a mediation session. Their role is usually consultative, allowing the parties to take the lead in the conversation. Also by mutual consent, parties may bring a friend, relative, or associate to lend support. Support persons are generally silent observers rather than sub-
  stantive participants.
- Is a mediated settlement legally binding?
- It can be made legally binding if you wish to make it so. If the parties reach a settlement, the mediator will ask you whether you wish to make the settlement binding. By including a clause in the settlement agreement, the agreement can become a legally binding contract, enforceable in civil court.
- Can attorney-mediators issue legal advice?
- No. Attorneys cannot issue legal advice to a client if they have a conflict of interest. Clearly, the mediator’s obligation of neutrality presents a conflict of interest for any attorney-mediator who might issue legal advice to either party. Indeed, all mediators — including attorney-mediators — must refrain from issuing legal advice to parties in a dispute. Mediators may, however, provide relevant legal information. Distinct from legal advice, which is individualized to a particular party, legal information is general and publicly available.
- Where and when would our mediation session take place?
- The session can be at our office in San Francisco, at one of our alternative locations in the greater Bay Area, or at another location such as the HOA’s conference room, the community club house, or anywhere that is acceptable to all parties. Parties are usually present in person. However, teleconferencing is an option when a party is unable to attend. We schedule mediation sessions during weekdays, evenings, and even weekends to best suit the professional and personal needs of our clients.
- If we can't agree in mediation, can I still pursue litigation or arbitration?
- Yes. Mediation should be your first resort because the chances are high that you'll reach a settlement this way. (Some 80% of cases settle in mediation.) Moreover, any settlement you reach in mediation will be devised by you rather than imposed upon you by a judge or arbitrator. However, if mediation is unsuccessful, you can abandon mediation and pursue litigation or arbitration instead. Mediation doesn’t diminish any of your rights.
- How do you stay neutral when one party contacts you first?
- Neutrality is an imperative and a tenet of our profession. Without it, we’d immediately lose the trust of one or both parties and our mediation sessions would abruptly terminate. Our mediators are trained in neutrality accordingly. What helps is that we have no agenda except to give our clients every opport-
  unity to reach an agreement if they wish to do so.
- We remain detached from specific settlement outcomes. In this detachment resides much of our power — the power to see issues clearly, to be a mirror to parties in conflict, and to recognize when parties have common interests or share common values.
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Mediation Logisitcs
- Where and when would our mediation take place?
- The session can be either at our office in San Francisco, at one of our alternative locations in the greater Bay Area, or at another location such as the HOA’s conference room, the community club house, or anywhere that is acceptable to all parties. Parties are usually present in person. However, teleconferencing is an option when a party is unable to attend. We schedule mediation sessions during weekdays, evenings, and even weekends to best suit the professional and personal needs of our clients.
- Can we mediate via telephone?
- Yes. Mediation is most effective when parties are present with the mediator. However, we do conduct mediations via teleconference if one or both parties are unable or unwilling to convene in person.
- How long is each session?
- The parties largely determine the length of each mediation session. For example, sometimes parties will meet for just one hour. Other sessions may extend as long as three hours. Sessions are typically two to three hours, and parties may schedule a follow-on session if necessary.
- When is the right time to begin mediation?
- Now. Experience shows that positions become entrenched with the passage of time. For this reason, the best time to begin mediation is always sooner rather than later. That said, many parties commence mediation later in their dispute cycle as the emotional and financial toll of litigation begins to mount.
- Who else can attend a mediation session?
- If both parties agree, attorneys may attend a mediation session. Their role is usually consultative, allowing the parties to take the lead in the conversation. Also by mutual consent, parties may bring a friend, relative, or associate to lend support. Support persons are generally silent observers rather than sub-
  stantive participants.
- How do you stay neutral when one party contacts you first?
- Neutrality is an imperative and a tenet of our profession. Without it, we’d immediately lose the trust of one or both parties and our mediation sessions would abruptly terminate. Our mediators are trained in neutrality accordingly. What helps is that we have no agenda except to give our clients every opportunity to reach an agreement if they wish to do so.
- We remain detached from specific settlement outcomes. In this detachment resides much of our power — the power to see issues clearly, to be a mirror to parties in conflict, and to recognize when parties seek the same outcome or share common values.
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Emotion and Hostility
- I have a lot of emotion over this. I don’t know if I can sit calmly across the table from the other party and work out an agreement.
- You’re not alone! A lot of the disputes that we mediate are steeped in emotion. Some mediators try to look beyond emotion as if it weren’t an inextricable part of your relationship to your dispute. They suppose that their refusal to acknow-
  ledge emotion will somehow force otherwise emotional parties into logical and cooperative behaviors. We think this approach to mediation is a mistake.
- CID Resolution believes that your emotions are authentic expressions of how individuals experience a dispute. Our skilled mediators can reflect and redirect emotions to help parties reach a settlement.
- Isn’t mediation just for friendly disputes?
- No. Our mediators frequently work with profound emotions such as anger and fear. In fact, parties who feel intense hostility towards one another are among the greatest beneficiaries of mediation, for their disputes will carry the greatest emotional and financial cost if pursued in litigation.
- I don’t like confrontation. What can I expect in mediation?
- Mediation is non-confrontational. Quite different from either the fight (confront-
  ational) or flight (avoidant) responses to conflict, it’s oriented instead towards settlement without ascribing blame. That said, we don’t believe in banishing emotion from the mediation process. Indeed, we believe that emotions are authentic expressions of how individuals experience a dispute. Our skilled mediators can reflect and redirect emotions to help parties reach a settlement.
- Must we meet in the same room? Can we use our mediator as a kind of
  go-between?
- Inter-party communication is one of mediation’s many benefits. Litigation, in contrast, isolates parties, rendering them unable to communicate their views directly to one another. With this in mind, we emphasize joint sessions in which both parties are in the same room together with the mediator. However, the mediator may break a joint session at an appropriate time to meet privately with each party. With the parties’ consent, the mediator may also use these private meetings to act as a go-between if such shuttle diplomacy can facilitate a resolution.
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Mediation and Attorneys
- Should our mediator be a practicing attorney?
- Your mediator should be a professional mediator. Mediation is distinct from the adversarial process of litigation in which attorneys are trained. For this reason, we employ only professional mediators who have a background in conflict or a related discipline such as counseling psychology.
- Attorneys are complementary to the mediation process. They can add great value as consultants to parties in mediation. For example, an attorney can discuss a party’s legal rights, develop proposals, devise counters to offers by the other party, and suggest potential best-case and worst-case outcomes if the dispute were contested in court. The parties' attorneys can also review a mediated settlement before the parties sign it. And attorneys can also, with the parties’ consent, be present in mediation sessions.
- In summary, CID Resolution recommends both specialist mediators and specialist attorneys: specialist mediators for their expertise in conflict resolut-
  ion and specialist attorneys for their counsel in law and representation in court if a dispute proceeds to litigation. Your dispute is too important to hire a jack of all trades and master of none.
- Can attorney-mediators issue legal advice?
- No. Attorneys cannot issue legal advice to a client if they have a conflict of interest. Clearly, the mediator’s obligation of neutrality presents a conflict of interest for any attorney-mediator who might issue legal advice to either party. Indeed, all mediators — including attorney- mediators — must refrain from issuing legal advice to their clients.
- CID Resolution’s mediators may, however, provide relevant legal information. Distinct from legal advice, which is individualized to a particular party, legal information is general and publicly available.
- What makes a good attorney for consultation and advice?
- Your consultant attorney will need expertise in the area of law that’s relevant to your case. To this end, look for a specialist, not a generalist who dabbles in several areas. Also important, find an attorney who can answer your questions in language that you understand, free of jargon and legalese. Finally, avoid attorneys who seem overly aggressive or cynical. They may make the conflict worse, derailing any possibility of reaching a settlement. Contact us if you’d like some referrals to consultant attorneys.
- One caveat: Many attorneys believe strongly in the benefits of mediation, but others see mediation as a threat to their business of representing clients in litigation. A mediation-friendly attorney will be happy to consult with you on an hourly basis rather than demand you retain him/her as your legal represent-
  ative.
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Next Steps
- Do you offer a free consultation?
- Yes. We offer each party a free 20-minute telephone consultation to each party. During this consultation the mediator explains the process and answers questions.
- I want to try mediation, but I’m not sure about the other party. Can you help?
- Yes. One party will often identify mediation as a preferred route to resolution while the other remains unsure or unaware of mediation. In such situations, you can proceed in several ways: You may want to tell the other party about mediation yourself by pointing them to our site at www.cidresolution.com. You may want us to invite the other party to mediation via telephone, mail, or e-mail. Or you may prefer to schedule an in-person consultation for you both to discuss with your mediator the option of mediation in your particular case. The first 20 minutes are complimentary.
- When is the right time to begin mediation?
- Now. Experience shows that positions become increasingly entrenched with the passage of time and the onset of litigation. For this reason, the best time to begin mediation is always sooner rather than later. That said, many parties commence mediation later in their dispute cycle as the emotional and financial toll of litigation begins to mount.
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